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In the mood?

כשמדובר בחידוש חיי המין שלכם לאחר הלידה הכל תלוי בשני בני הזוג. התחושה של חוסר רצון בקיום יחסי מין בשבועות הראשונים היא נורמלית לחלוטין.

The following, perfectly understandable things might make sex seem like a big step.

vaginal discharge, which can continue for two to three weeks after birth (if the discharge is related to you feeling sore, itchy or smelly, contact your doctor)
tiredness
stitches in the perineum
finding the time when your baby's asleep and not likely to wake up for a while
If you just let things happen, stay close to your partner emotionally and remain patient, your sex life will probably resume gradually - without it becoming a major issue.

At first, you may need a lubricant if you're nervous about stitches or tears. If sex hurts despite the use of a lubricant, you may still not have quite healed. Any infection can be cleared up with a visit to your doctor.

The vagina usually returns to its former shape well and there's normally no difference to be aware of. If you have concerns, however, speak with your health professional.

Breasts and sex
If breastfeeding, your breasts may feel a little tender at first. Sexual arousal can cause milk to leak, too. If this is something you or your partner find off-putting, try to feed your baby before you make love to help reduce the leakage.

Be patient
One of the most important things is for you and your partner to discuss your feelings with each other and take things as fast or as slow as you want. If you find you're still not interested after a few months, and it's worrying either of you, take the time to talk about it. You may want to have a word with your doctor if it continues.

Tiredness is the biggest dampener on libido

Tiredness is the biggest dampener on libido, and you may find you need to schedule a time when you can be together. Choose times when you're less likely to be sleepy. Afternoons at the weekend can be a good time, if your baby naps then. You know your baby's routine - try to schedule your sex life accordingly!

Contraception
If you don't want to become pregnant again, remember to use contraception whenever you have sex - even if this is soon after the birth. Just because you've had a baby doesn't mean you can't immediately become pregnant with another. People have been known to turn up to their six-week check-up pregnant!

Not in the mood
If you don't fancy sex, don't feel pressured into having it. Lots of women go off sex for a while after birth. Discuss it with your partner and be sensitive to each other's needs. Perhaps you could share a massage together. Even if you just hug each other, the closeness you shared can still be there.

"I wondered at one point how second babies ever got conceived. If one of us was up for it, the other was too tired to even think about it. We had to make the time, in the end, and not let this part of our relationship drift... and it was worth it!"

Dad's perspective
With all the ups and downs new fatherhood brings, you may be wondering when you and your partner will be able to share the intimacy you once had. Remember to discuss your feelings with your partner - she may be wondering the same thing!

It's important to talk together, to be as understanding and accommodating as possible, and to spend time as a couple. If penetrative sex isn't possible, you can still pleasure each other in other ways.

Obviously, post-birth you'll both have more on your minds than just each other. If your baby sleeps in your room, you may feel more comfortable having sex somewhere else or moving the baby into another room.

Disclaimer: The BBC Parenting site is provided for your general information only. The information contained on this site should not be treated as a substitute for medical, legal or other professional advice. The BBC is not responsible or liable for the contents of any websites of third parties which are listed on this site.

In Lifestyle
You and your partner
Sex and sexual health
Relationships: new baby

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Elsewhere on the web
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